Get Your Own Motherfucking Blog Asshole!

Because You're An Annoying Whiny Fuckwad

Another Hilarious Angry Commenter At Twisty’s

Posted by Comradde PhysioProffe on November 11, 2009

The commenter Lucija is vewy, vewy angwy that Twisty encourages high standards of literacy for commenters at her blog:

Fuck this. I’ve been in denial about this for way too long, because this blog has been one of the only places in my life where I can find like-minded people, and feel at home. Feministe, and especially Feministing, never cut it for me. But I can’t find it in myself to do it anymore. You’re an obnoxious stickler, a control freak, a classist and an ageist. And a stuck up and pretentious one at that.

It’s interesting how on this blog ellipses are more of an offense than “cuntalina” is. Goodbye, Twisty. Or Jill, whatever. You can shove your pedantry (a newly acquired word for you, innit?) and your snobbery up your sphincter…

You can of course not let this comment through, or delete it or whatever because the style is lacking, or the semantics are incorrect, the commas are badly placed or whatever other reason takes your fancy. But fuck does it feel satisfying to finally be able to comment on your blog without feeling the need to double-check everything in Merriam-Webster after all these years. And I simply relish the beauty and joy of the ellipsis!

But who knows what irks the Great Spinster Aunt…every post is a surprise! I’m just interested in what’s next to go… Contractions? Phrasal verbs? Abbreviations? Acronyms?
Or maybe legitimate linking words and phrases as some fools here have already been suggesting? (Which, btw…you people would ban “that said…”? Are you fucking serious?!?)

Just tell me, Jill, who IS allowed into this totalitarian circle of yours? Do you also exclude people from your revolution on the basis of how they dress, which accent they use, what genre of music the listen to? Hey you, in the Hawaiian shirt! No revolution for you! And all you R’n’B fans,too! Scram! (Apologies in advance if “scram” is actually not on your allowed words list!) So, judging, excluding and discriminating aginst those you don’t like, those different than you?
Now, what totalitarian and anti-feminist regime does this remind me of? Well, numerous, actually. Actually, scratch that, I might settle just on “patriarchy”. Yes, that’s it, it reminds of the Patriarchy.
I, personally, would love to see all sorts of different stuff like techno music, the recently returned Hammer pants and unnecessary, showy and pretentious use of Latin go. But I’d be absolutely livid if someone tried fucking banning them. Because there should, after all, exist such a thing as liberty. Once, I would’ve been sure that feminists would agree on such a simple statement like this. This post, and all but one of the comments on it, really are great, if somewhat painful eye-openers.

Val, I’m sure you’ll be delighted to know that Twisty/Jill outlawed smileys too, eons ago.
Or should it be aeons, Twisty? Or maybe you don’t like my usage of the word in this context, is it not literal enough, or maybe witty enough for you? We poor readers have, after all, had to learn to go about this commenting business with an air of questioning, even, dare I say, paranoia.

Agasaya, I HAVE been here long enough to see Twisty/Jill cut someone off at the knees for that exact reason. Several times. Just sayin’.(Um, hope the correct usage of the apostrophe makes this transgression at least a bit more bearable, Jill!)
Many people, me included, will tell you that Jill is brilliant, hilariously funny and delightfully witty. None will ever tell you she is kind. Not that I think she cares.
Also, excluding people based on grammar and stylistic expression is not exactly an effective way of recruiting, is it now? But, again, I’m sure Jill doesn’t mind. At the end of the day (um, see what I did here?), I’m sure she and her faithful band of grammar pedants can bring on the Revolution all on their own. The patriarchy will simply crumble in defeat faced with such correct usage of commas.

Oh, and Kelly, I can assure you that while some foreign speakers, like me for example, are fluent enough in the language to be expected to write and speak it to a standard, countless many are not. Among them, there are certainly those who are still perfectly capable of communicating, and thus commenting, in the language, in less than dazzling, but certainly perfectlyunderstandable fashion. But I don’t imagine many such foreign speakers would have enough guts and masochistic tendencies to try to do so on Jill’s blog.

But, Kelly, I don’t think I should really be telling you this. Surely you’ve seen some foreigners before? In a movie at least? You know, like those mean Mexican immigrants swimming across border, or maybe those nasty, smelly Slavic brutes drinking their days away? The cuntalinas!

Sounds like Lucija needs to Get Her Own Motherfcking Blog!

Your non-chalant, smug comment is not only presumptuous, but also a textbook example of the privilege you enjoy as a native speaker of the language of the greatest colonial force of the pre-WW2 era and the only real great world force in the post-WW2 era. The language that everyone speaks anyway, so what’s the point for its speakers to actually make the effort to acquire another one? Apologies if you can show me a juicy, grammatically adept, stylistically satisfactory piece of political and/or sociological commentary by you in, say, Spanish, or French, or German. You know, one of the big languages. I won’t even bother you with trying to imagine how difficult it is for those of us who speak one of the bazillion tiny languages and are expected to acquire several new ones just to be able to function in this world. And now, we’re supposed to have acquired a ridiculously high standard of them too, just so we could comment on an internet blog?!?
So I don’t know whether Jill applies her high (read: ludicrous and arbitrary) standards to non-native speakers, but what I do know, Kelly, is that, no, the assumption that people might have trouble fulfilling Jill’s expectations when writing in a language completely different than their own is not classist. You, on the other hand, are.

11 Responses to “Another Hilarious Angry Commenter At Twisty’s”

  1. Daria said

    Ouch, bet that shut Twisty up.

  2. squiggystardust said

    Lucija, Get Your Own Motherfucking Blog Asshole!
    Because You’re An Annoying Whiny Fuckwad!

  3. pg said

    Strong out of the gate with an impressively long wall of text. Bland middle consisting mostly of name-calling and attempted guilt-tripping, and a weak finish consisting of a schizophrenic “you suck, I hate you, I love you all, I will miss you so much.”

    C-

  4. anon said

    This insulting baby talk, “vewy, vewy” stuff makes me incredibly uncomfortable, coming from a person I understand to be a male, directed towards a person I understand to be female, and originating from a conversation on a feminist blog. Perhaps this angry commenter should, indeed, get her own blog. I don’t think she should get infantalizing language from a man.

  5. Jezebella said

    It looks like all targets of this blog receive such treatment, regardless of gender.

  6. Flora Poste said

    People like Lucija have turned the concept of privilege into a buzzword used to belittle and denigrate. That is awful.

    But what great comments she inspired!

  7. Not this again said

    I love how all the people agreeing with Lucija insist that they acknowledge it’s Jill’s personal blog and that she has a right to set standards for posting there, and then proceed to tell her she’s a bad feminist and oppressing women by doing so.

    Really, asking posters to attempt something approximating correct Ebglish and not use LOLspeak makes her a mean old classist, ageist snob? Really? And gods forbid she have pet peeves, like ellipses, that she expresses on her own personal blog.

  8. Not this again said

    Er, correct English.

    I fail.

  9. isisthescientist said

    HA HA HA! Brilliant! I love how much time it took this person to craft this rant. This is like a War and Peace length rant! I wish I had this stamina.

  10. Katherine said

    Bwahaha I love people that don’t read the rules on a blog and then complain when they get mocked or deleted. I bet they complain when they speed and get a ticket XD

  11. Katherine, I loathe how people who don’t use their real name libel bloggers who do use their real name. aka Twisty.

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